Turn Your Thoughts God-ward

 Recently, I was observing my reflection in the mirror. I turned my face side to side so I could see the acne on my cheeks and jaw. I have spent too many minutes in years past doing exactly this, my eyes dwelling on each spot and my spirit wilting the longer I looked. Today was different: I saw my face through the eyes of someone seeing me for the first time, instead of through my own eyes, which were tainted with selfish despair over my imperfect skin. 

It was strange, but when I did that, my acne seemed such a stupid thing to care that much about. As I pondered my face, I had this thought:

I've had acne since I was thirteen. I've done everything under the sun (including leaving it completely alone) to try and heal my skin, both externally and internally. It's probably not going away anytime soon. And I don't know why, but maybe that's fine. I could have acne and be sad about it, or I could have acne and choose to continue being comfortable in my own skin. I would much rather live with the latter. So I'm alright with these spots on my face.

Later that day, after Riley came home from work, we were hanging out on the couch, and I told him these thoughts I'd had. He nodded his approval; he was pleased to see my growing peace about something that had plagued me with worrisome thoughts for many years. But after a beat, he added this:

"Be sure to turn these thoughts God-ward. The peace you have with your skin should be about Him and from Him; these thorns and thistles of this imperfect world are meant to draw you nearer to Him. You should be content with your skin, not because you chose of your own accord not to care, but because it is exactly the way God wills it to be right now."

(This is slightly paraphrased, as this conversation was several days ago, and I obviously can't recount what he said word for word. But this is the essence of what he told me.)

I am glad he said this to me. My thoughts in the bathroom mirror earlier that day were not incorrect, but they were lacking the core purpose of why I am to be content with my body and skin: my identity must be found solely in Christ and His steadfast love for me, not in my physical appearance. My responsibility is to be a good steward of the body He gave me, to take the best care of it that I can, because it is a gift from Him-- and I must trust Him with the outcome.

This is the part that always trips me: I make so many efforts to be a good steward of my body... and I expect that because I am trying so hard, I will be able to fix myself or heal myself or get exactly the results I am hoping for. 

But that is still an identity issue (sin!). In that case, my hope is still in the perfection of my body, not in the sovereign will of God. And, how silly of me to let some spots on my skin steal joy from my heart when there is so much to be deeply and humbly thankful for in these sweet but short days on Earth the Lord gives us!

 I need to let go of my craving for control and remember that my body will be perfect in Heaven. And will I even notice? I will be quite busy praising the Lord my God, in all His glory and majesty.

With that, I encourage anyone reading this to search out the things in your heart that have been plaguing you with worry or irritation. Ask yourself "why?" What gain is to be had from being consumed by yourself? Turn your thoughts God-ward; there is much peace to be found in Him. 

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."

-1 Peter 5:6-7

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."

-Colossians 3:1-3

Have a lovely Monday!